短信

我们刚刚离开白雪皑皑的喀那斯湖
壮观美丽的西域风情让我陶醉
我在层峦叠嶂的阿尔泰山向你祝福
身体健康心情愉快学习进步
你妈妈已经回到任丘

爸爸

从游泳想到的

今天是中秋节。

今天我去游泳了，我第一次能游25米了。当我第一次游到对岸的时候，我自己都不敢相信，努力地回想自己刚才是从头上游的吗。好像是呀。可是我怎么没觉得那么累就到了对岸了呢。两天前我还在想，什么时候我能一次游到对岸去，好远呀！在将信将疑中我决定再游一次，这次终于相信我确实能游这么远了。为什么呢？原因我想是在“放松”！我没有花很大的力气去蹬去划，而是比较平缓，很有耐性的样子，却在不知不觉中稳步前进。也许就是第一次中我忘记了自己的目标结果却到达了目标。后来我也有没有游到的，我就会告诉自己放松放松。放松了就感觉游得轻松愉快。我想工作学习也是一样，目标太强，太执着，未必能成功。古人云，欲速则不达。

Last night I forgot to write down my feeling about the call with Jing.
In my eyes, Jing has good Qian2Jing3 now since the professor in MIT promised to offer her scholarship as long as her GRE and TOEFL score can be over the requirement. But Jing told me she once thought of giving up the night before last because she found herself like a loser. She thought she couldn't do anything successfully.
It's really out of my expection. So you can see it's a real hard way in front of us. We struggle with ourselves everyday. I know it's not that easy for Jing to get the satisfactory score.
This morning when I was looking at the sun shine out of window I decided not to think the trasfer again. I feel relaxing at that time. But when I sit in front of my computer and face my research proposal, I think of the possible disagreement with my supervisor in the future. I think I should sit for TOEFL soon.
I am thinking what's the most important thing in a not top university and what is my plan after graduation.

What's our goal?

Suddenly I find a question. What is the most important thing for us during the research work?
Since we are not at the top universities, it's hard for us to stand at the head of research work. So maybe the most important thing is to get a wide research ken.

不甘心

今天很苦恼论文的事情。可是说来奇怪，想不出什么好点子，却激发起了离开这里的想法。
感觉自己真是眼高手低，才智不足心气太高。真是没办法。好不甘心呀！

感觉特累

感觉特累，不知道为什么。下午睡了2个小时，还是看不进去书。

一瞬间

很多时候行与不行，悲伤与快乐都在转瞬之间。
没有东西是永远的，包括幸福与苦难。

关于“再坚持一下”

和Jing电话，说到最近的感悟。Jing说到在最后关头的坚持。
人说黎明前的黑暗是最黑暗的时刻，往往在这个时候最容易给自己找借口妥协。已经尽力了，就这样吧，某事在人成事在天。可是实际上，我们还是有努力的余地的。在这个时刻是最需要坚持的，挺住了就能到达新天地，这才是分胜负的关键时刻。
所以不论自己之前怎么努力，到最后时刻还是要坚持努力。没有定论，就什么都有可能。

否极泰来

人们经常说的否极泰来真是不错。也不知道为什么我突然轻松了很多。
昨晚和两个小朋友聊天到了1点多，其中也受到了启发。人要表现得自信。今天我就向老板感觉是不卑不亢地表达了自己的意见。我对老板的反映感觉很正常。不知道是我的接受能力增强了，还是老板态度好了。
总之，我感觉比较愉快，在学习自己想学的东西了。
Jing说的对，你感觉happy就happy了。困难是用来解决的，不是用来忧伤的。保持良好的心境，面对所以需要解决的问题！

It's not so what

Many times I was asked "so what?". Although you could get some assertions from your analysis, so what?
But today, I confirm it's not "so what". In fact, they are important. Maybe you cannot publish a paper just explaining them, but their applications can definitly be organized to be published.
I should trust myself!

可怕的两种感觉

1、想哭哭不出来；
2、脑子一片空白，不知道自己要做什么。类似一觉醒来，不知道自己在哪里，感觉自己被所有人抛弃了。恐惧极了。

这是我人生中第一次遇上我很难与之交流而又不得不与之长期合作的人。真是想哭哭不出来。
晚上下课，突然不知道自己要去哪里，要做什么。一阵恐惧袭来。
怎么办哪？面对！面对！头脑要灵活！刻苦不是全部，捷径是必要的。

相约2006春

今天打了两个电话，一个给Ding，一个给Jing。
Ding在美国，和lg一起在同一个学校读博士。他们租住一个一居室，有自己的车。学习不是很紧张，假期会出去旅游。生活很滋润的样子，已经没有回国的打算了。
Jing在国内读博士，准备申请出国读书。我在出国后的主要任务上和Jing有很大的不同。我认为出国后要全身心的读书，出来就是为了读书嘛；但Jing说，在国内的这段时间将是她最后努力读书的日子，将来出国了就要用时间找朋友了。我慢慢地领会Jing的用意了。我开始觉得真正聪明的女人是懂得给自己找个好归宿的人。
Jing告诉我Guangyan也打算出国了，准备renew托福成绩了。我有些吃惊，她曾经是那么坚定地要在国内发展，并积极地在找朋友，终于还是走上了我们的道路。我在电话里，不停地重复，太好了！太好了！又多了一个并肩作战地战友，我又感到了集体的温暖。
Jing说她非常支持我赶快离开这里，既然不爽，就应该赶快行动，做个计划，然后一步一步地施行。不能说一定成功，但起码无怨无悔。
Jing说我们应该去Boston地区，去NewYork。希望我们一年以后在那里聚会。我说一年可能我还不行，我争取在2006年的春天和大家汇合。
此时不博更待何时！我要在未来的500个日夜里努力奋斗，为了美好的明天！

Movie

I watched a movie called The Terminal today. not very good, not very bad.
I just feel a little bit tired.
I brought many things from EasterGarden. Most of them are on special. It's my life. How can I enjoy my life? I am thinking......
I suddenly feel not want to talk to anybody. Where is the person who can walk with me for a while? I am really more strong than before.

Missed two days' diary

Missed two days' diary. I should keep my mind sober.

又一天

累！时间怎么过得就这么快！
明天一定要把试验的script写好!!!

一切有待提高

今天最大的感觉是早上精神很好。it's a little bit hard to get up. But after that, I felt very good and 庆幸幸亏起来了。坚持就可以看到不易看到的风景。
上午本来打算用一小时读一篇文章，结果看了两个多小时。
中午回来吃饭，然后去买了菜。
下午终于把tiff编译过了。看了写shell的东西。
晚上三小时的课，没吃晚饭。以后一定要吃了饭去上课。不然真是浪费3小时。
吃过饭感觉很累就回来了。
刚开始运动还是感觉有些累，腿挺酸的。估计会好起来的。
准备睡觉啦。Good night。

A Busy Sunday

I got up at 6:30am and then walked out. I had thought to jog but felt exhausted and gave up. So I walked for almost 40 mins.
After breadfast and english study, I went to lab. I met a problem. I know it is easy for someone familar with the tool. But for me, though I know where the problem is, it is still hard for me to find the exact point. I tried and googled a lot. One morning pasted.
After lunch and nap, keep fighting! I got it!!! It was 16:20.
Washing clothes and cooking took me the next 2 and a half hours.
Now I went back from night work. really exhausted.
Raining outside, good for sleep.
Tomorrow is another day! Keep

4 Sep, 2004

Today is the first day I hope I could change my living style. I decided to be more active, to do exercises and pay more attention on myself. It's really true that girls grow old soon. :-(
I went to coogee beach in the moring. And one the way back, I brought fresh fruits and vegi in the Randwick. From 11:00am to 2:00pm, I walked for 3 hours!
After arriving home, I cooked for lunch and then took a shower. I know I have to study. Then, after dinner, I went to my lab.
I read gdb manual and think I should know more about gdb and gcc. And also I think I should read some good books, e.g., ACDI.
I have to go to bed before 11:00pm, then I can get up early tomorrow morning. But before that, I must reply one of my friends' letter.
Ok, tomorrow 6:30, I must get up and go out doing exercises.
Tomorrow is anther day! Hopeful

Preface

静谧的非洲大草原上，夕阳西下，这时，一头狮子在沉思，明天当太阳升起 ，我要奔跑，以追上跑得最快的羚羊；此时，一只羚羊也在沉思，明天当太阳升 起，我要奔跑，以逃脱跑得最快的狮子。那么，无论你是狮子或是羚羊，当太阳 升起，你要做的，就是奔跑。

　 是的，奔跑……